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The Amish Voice
MAP
P.O. Box 128
575 U.S. Highway 250
Savannah, OH 44874
(419) 962-1515
September 2016
Welcome to part two of Emanuel
Schrock’s true life story.
2. Lost and Hopeless
I longed for God, yet the desires of the
flesh kept pulling me away from Him.
Every day I faced strong temptations in
all areas of life, and, though I tried
my best to fight them, I could not
resist. I was Amish; everything I
did and everywhere I went, I could
not be anything else. My clothes
were Amish, my house was
Amish, my family was Amish, and
most importantly, my church was
Amish. But I did not know God. I
heard about Him, and read about
Him. But I didn’t know who He
was, much less love Him.
My body didn’t care that I was
Amish; when I was faced with
temptation, I did what the rest of the
world did: I gave up on righteousness,
and chose sin instead of God. My straw
hat did not keep the dirty and vile
thoughts and pictures from floating
inside my brain. My suspenders and
homemade clothes didn’t keep me from
outrageous fits of anger and vile cursing
and swearing. They couldn’t control the
evil lust that burned in my heart after I
saw that first glaring page of
pornography. I was taught to obey my
parents because that is what Amish do,
but I didn’t love them. Many times I
hated them.
In short, being Amish did not change
who I was as a person, and I knew that
someday I would stand before God, all
alone, and I wondered if it would matter
then that I was Amish. I had a foreboding
feeling that even though I looked
different and more religious than the rest
of the world, I was of the same class as
they were, and would be judged by the
same law as they. Somehow I sensed that
the law of God would someday cut
through my Amish cover, and the sinful
person I really was would be exposed for
God and the world to see.
Life continued, and there were some
changes in the family. My oldest brother
had left home and the Amish church
when he was 18, just before he was
scheduled to be baptized. Since he had
left the church, I was told that he had
fallen into the devil’s hands, that not only
was he deceived, but he was now a
dangerous threat to our family,
because he could deceive us, as
well.
I was young, but I well remember
the confusion and turmoil our
family went through when my
brother left. Having a family
member leave home and the
church was the next thing to
someone dying. My dad retreated
into a major state of depression;
my mom’s grief was so deep that
the pain showed constantly on her
face. My older sisters walked around
with red and swollen eyes. My next
oldest brother was angry.
I wasn’t sure what to think. I knew that
what had happened was serious, yet,
there was a strange secret feeling of
excitement.
Something
new was in the air, and for
a young Amish boy,
nothing was ever new,
nor did the future
My Story, Part 2
—
By Emanuel Schrock